Beatbox Bill/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Beatbox Bill. Transcript (Scene opens to Larry holding up a microphone.) Larry: Ladies and Veggie-men! I present to you the greatest two-man band in rock and roll history, Cucumber and Bacon! We are CUC-ON! (imitating a cheering crowd) Bacon Bill: Wait, I thought we were gonna be BAC-CUMBER! Larry: But then I decided that since I'm gonna be the lead singer slash front man, that CUC should go first because I'm the Cucumber, remember? Bacon Bill: Oh yeah! CUC-ON it is, front man! Larry: Hit it, Backup Bill! And-a-one, and-a-two, and-a-three, and-a-four! (Bacon Bill starts tapping some spoons together, which Larry is surprised and disbelieved to see.) Larry: Uh, Bill, where are the instruments? Bacon Bill: Spoons are instruments in some cultures, you know that? Larry: That's all you have?! How are we gonna be the greatest rock band in history with a couple of spoons?! Bacon Bill: What instruments do we need most? Larry: First and foremost, we need drums. If I'm gonna drop lyrical thunder, I need some boom-chicka-boom! Bacon Bill: Hold on, check this out! (Bacon Bill throws the spoons aside and takes off his pirate hat.) Bacon Bill: (imitating drums) Larry: Wow, you're pretty good at that. Now we need a bass guitar. You can't groove without that smooth, soul-shakin' bass. (Bacon Bill starts imitating a bass guitar, while still imitating drums.) Larry: Wow! How you doing that?! Bacon Bill: (imitating bass) I have no idea. Hidden talent alert! Larry: Now we need guitars, power cords, and hooky riffs that move me! Bacon Bill: Coming right up! (Bacon Bill also starts imitating a guitar, a power cord, and a riff.) Larry: Bill, you've got it! Bacon Bill: (beatboxing) Hold on! (beatboxing) How about keyboards? (Bacon Bill resumes beatboxing again, this time also imitating a keyboard while doing so.) Bacon Bill: And saxophone! (Bacon Bill also imitates a saxophone as well.) Larry: Bill, that's plenty! Don't hurt yourself. Bacon Bill: Wait, one more. We need one guy who keeps saying, "What, what? Aw yeah!" in the background. (Bacon Bill resumes beatboxing once again, which Larry grooves to.) Larry: Yes! We have a band! With my amazing talent as a lead singer and front man, we're gonna rock this like none other! I love you, Bill! Bacon Bill: Besties forevsies! Larry: Let's get our CUC-ON! (Larry and Bacon Bill high-five each other. Scene switches to the center of town, where several townspeople pass by, while Larry gets a stage, a microphone, and some speakers set up, while Bacon Bill comes up to Larry from behind.) Larry: Hit it, Bill! (Bacon Bill takes off his hat and starts beatboxing into it. The townspeople are attracted by the sound of Bacon Bill's beatboxing. Jimmy gives off a smile, while Jerry comes up from the fountain. Bacon Bill still continues beatboxing. Corn Woman and Jimmy approach the stage.) Corn Woman: Like, wow! These guys are super-good! Jimmy: I heard of them first! Number one fan right here! (Jerry pushes Corn Woman away.) Jerry: I'm number one fan! Jimmy: No you're not! I am! (Jimmy and Jerry glare at each other.) Larry: You guys think that's good, wait until you hear my singing! (Larry jumps down from the speaker.) Larry: (singing) He's Bacon Bill-'' (Corn Woman takes the microphone from Larry before he can even resume.) Corn Woman: Um, could I borrow this? Thanks. (Corn Woman holds the microphone back up to Bacon Bill again while Bacon Bill is still beatboxing, while Larry is saddened.) Larry: Oh, okay. Uh, yeah, just for a second, 'kay, guys? Corn Woman: This bacon guy is amazing! (Bacon Bill still continues beatboxing, while everyone dances, but Larry is still concerned. Bacon Bill still continues to beatbox.) Larry: Uh, guys? I'm the front man. Aw. (Larry sadly leaves the stage, while Bacon Bill still continues beatboxing while everyone cheers for him. Scene switches to Larry sadly sitting on the couch at home.) Larry: (sighs) (Bacon Bill comes up to Larry.) Bacon Bill: Man, that was the most fun anyone has ever had ever! Have you ever heard of beatboxing, Larry? That's what I do! It's my hidden talent. Larry: Mmm-hmm. Bacon Bill: And apparently, I'm pretty good at it! And I already got shows booked, commercials, jingles, record deals, soda endorsements, free pretzels. Oh yeah! And they made a ringtone of CUC-ON! Listen! We're a hit! Larry: (angry) We? You call that 'us'?! All I hear is- Bacon Bill: Hold on, I need to take this. Bacon Bill, beatboxer extraordinaire at your service! What?! Hold on, let me talk to Larry. Larry! Okay, we've been invited on a world tour and their only request is that we change our name to "Beat-Master Bacon" and instead of being the lead singer, you sell T-shirts! Larry: Sell T-shirts?! I'm the front man! I should be on the shirt, not selling the shirt! Bacon Bill: That's right, you're the front man. But Larry's the front man and the best lead singer I know! They said they just want my beatboxing. Oh well. I guess I'll just stay here. Larry: No, you should go! You found your talent, go use it! Bacon Bill: But, I like being rock mates. Besties forevsies, rememsies? Larry: It's okay, Bill. I want you to go. Bacon Bill: Alright, buddy, keep it real out here, yo. I'm off to drop mad beats across the land! (Bacon Bill leaves, while Larry is still sitting on the couch. Bacon Bill turns to face Larry, but Larry turns away from him, before Bacon Bill then comes up to a taxi cab that pulls up in front of him. Bacon Bill gets into the taxi cab which drives away, while Larry is still saddened. Scene switches to Bob entering Larry's room, becoming confused when he sees Larry sadly sitting in the bathtub while squeaking his ducky.) Bob: Larry, why are you in the tub with no water? Larry: I was taking a tear bath. Bob: Why so sad? I hear you and Bill were great. (Larry angrily faces Bob.) Larry: I quit the band! I'm starting a new one called "Larry: The Band". Bob: I thought Bill was talented. Don't you want talent in your band? Larry: He's a showboat! The spotlight really belongs on the lead singer! Bob: You know, the Bible reminds us not to be concerned with being the greatest, or in your case, the front man. Larry: I wasn't made for second chair, Bobby Boy! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna make some calls! (Larry gets out of the bathtub and makes a call on his cell phone while Bob can only watch.) Larry: Yes, hi. Do you have any instruments? No? Okay, bye. (hangs up) Bob: Are you just calling random numbers? Larry: Yep. Yes, hello? Do you have any instruments? Great! Would you like to be in my band? (Bob can only look at the viewers. Scene switches to the outside of Petunia's house, while the sound of dissonant-sounding music is heard. Cut to the inside where Larry is talking with Petunia, Tina, and Granny Asparagus.) Larry: Thank you all for coming here today to try out for my new band, Larry: The Band. Let's rock! Petunia: Wait, what are we playing? Do we have any songs? Granny: Can we just play some Bacon Bill covers? I just love those beats of his! Larry: No, we can't play Bacon Bill covers! Who's band are you in, anyway?! One, two, three, four! (Petunia, Tina, and Granny play their instruments, but end up playing rather badly.) Larry: Stop! How am I supposed to sing to that?! (Granny throws her accordion to the floor in disgust.) Granny: Oh, don't bother. I quit. Tina: I'm not so into it either! Petunia: It seems like you're more interested in being the front man than making music. Larry: Well, yeah. Isn't that the job of the front man? (Petunia and Tina leave as well.) Larry: (sighs) Petunia: Wait! This is my house! You leave! (Larry is even more frustrated. Scene switches to outside Ichabeezer's mansion at night.) Larry: I've got no instruments. I've got no band. I'll never rock. (A light turns on after that. Ichabeezer throws an object away into the trash can, as Larry comes up to him.) Larry: What is that thing, Ichabeezer? Ichabeezer: My old beat machine. It plays any instruments you need instantly. (chuckles) Cost a fortune. Larry: You're throwing it away? Ichabeezer: I'm taking up beatboxing! I enrolled in Bacon Bill's Online Beatboxing School! That bacon's a genius! (beatboxing) (Ichabeezer backs up while beatboxing, then goes back inside the mansion again, closing the door. Larry faces the trash can.) Larry: Larry: The Band is back in business! (Larry opens the trash can, before a Cherry Cat leaps out and attacks him, causing the trash can to topple over and the beat machine to fall out of it. Scene swwitches to the next day, where everyone has gathered around to see Larry standing in front of them while holding the beat machine, before he twirls the microphone in the air and catches it.) Larry: Here he remembers the band CUC-ON? Corn Woman: Was that the band with Bacon Bill and, like, that other pickle guy? Larry: That's right! I'm the pickle guy! Jimmy: Is Bacon Bill playing here? Like, right now? Larry: No, I am! I'm Larry, and this is my band! Larry: The Band! Jerry: We want Bill! Larry: You'll want me soon enough! Dance with me! (Larry turns on the beat machine.) Larry: (yelling) Whoo! (yells) Whoo! (grunts) (The crowd can only watch in disbelief, while Larry spins around.) Larry: Oh yeah! One time! Sock it to me! That's right! Come on! Get on up! Get up and jump, people! Say "Hey-yo"! Say "Hee-ho"! (Larry holds the microphone in front of Jimmy, who is unresponsive.) Larry: You're supposed to repeat that. (Larry nudges Jimmy with the microphone, before the beat machine starts going on the fritz.) Larry: Aw man! This thing cost a fortune! (The beat machine stops flashing before it starts playing pirate music, but Larry shakes it again as it starts playing country music.) Corn Woman: Oh, this isn't really my groove or something. (Corn Woman leaves, as does the rest of the crowd.) Jimmy: I am very disappointed! (Larry is left alone while looking very saddened. Scene switches to Larry throwing the beat machine in the dumpster, then goes to leave, before Jimmy follows him.) Jimmy: Hey, Larry, you used to be friends with Bill, right? Can you score me an autograph on this replica of his hat? (Larry looks at the replica of Bacon Bill's hat rather sadly.) Larry: (sighs) I was so concerned with being in the front, but now, I wish I was making music with my friend. (Pa comes out from the store.) Pa: Bacon Bill is making some big announcement! (Pa hops out the door, while Larry looks down at the hat replica, then smiles. Scene switches to Bacon Bill being interviewed by Beau Rockley.) Beau: Bacon Bill, tonight you are announcing your retirement from beatboxing! Why this drastic decision? Bacon Bill: Before I went big time, I was with my friend Larry! We were gonna make music together and be besties forevsies! But now, all I have is regretsies. I like making music, but I like being Larry's pal better! He's my rock hero! I miss you, Larry! Larry: I miss you too! I wish we were back making music like old times! You found a hidden talent and I couldn't even be happy for you. You're an amazing beatboxer. I'm sorry for being jealous. Bacon Bill: You're the bestest front man, old pal! (Larry and Bacon Bill hug each other.) Crowd: Aw! Bacon Bill: CUC-ON is back on! Larry: I always thought BAC-CUMBER had a better ring to it. Bacon Bill: I don't care what our band name is, I just wanna be besties again! Larry: Forevsies?! (Larry and Bacon Bill high-five each other again.) Bacon Bill: I still have the lyrics for the song we were working on! (Bacon Bill takes the lyric sheet out of his hat and gives it to Larry.) Bacon Bill: Let's jam! (Larry takes the lyric sheet from Bacon Bill, before he and Bacon Bill go up to perform. Bacon Bill goes up on-stage while the crowd cheers. Larry also appears on stage.) Larry: This is song is dedicated to my friend Bill! Bill, give me a beat! (Bacon Bill starts beatboxing as music starts to play.) Larry: (singing) ''He's Bacon Bill and he's my homie He's all meat and no baloney You ask for my cred? I'll make it simple I'm a cucumber dude I ain't no pickle Bill is no slack His beats aren't whack I supply the words Cuz I got the knack We never fizzle Cuz Bill's got sizzle That's a fact This is bacon rap Yo. Me and Bacon Bill make an awesome team Though our crew Is new to the hip-hop scene Our beat is sweet So it's time to get ready For a rap by bacon and a veggie Bacon rap This is bacon rap Fast as a train goin' clickety-clack We keep on track With our sizzle and snap So hip-hop, homie, to our bacon rap (Jerry is saddened by not catching Larry's glasses, before Jimmy gives the glasses to him. Jimmy and Jerry hug after that. The song ends.) Bacon Bill: What, what? Aw yeah! (Larry and Bacon Bill jump forward before being caught by the crowd.) Larry: Besties forevsies! (The screen irises out on Larry and Bacon Bill, ending the episode.)Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales in the House transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts